misrepresented.misunderstood.unheard.

counting on

2005-08-08T22:02:00.000+08:00

whee baby decided to run arounddd. =p

3 more days to 5months.

and i'm glad we've managed to come thus far.

despite all the sadness, the hurt. despite all the weariness.

thanks baby for tonight. you made me see things i never saw in such a perspective. it hurts, its scary; but it allows me to love you even more so. and i'm willing to take in all that, just so to learn to love you in that perfect, complete way. i know you can see that it is going to take time, and i thank you for that, but not to worry that i will take too much time where its going to be too late, alright? huggles tight.

ilu.

xoxo.

-rach

HAPPY PATRIOTIC dayy everyone. it's a holiday, and that's what that really matters to all of you anyway right? haha. :)

found myself.

2005-08-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

and the truth hurts.
make me feel better,
temporal relief maybe.
but i'm not really better.

never

2005-08-02T10:37:00.000+08:00

it isnt the end.

and it never will be.

love,
rach

end of us.

2005-08-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

please tell me it isn't true.

2005-07-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is

147
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

The Keys to my Heart.

2005-07-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

the longing. i felt hollow.

2005-07-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

reading thru friendster testimonials. browsing friend networks and all.

came across stuff i really shouldn't have seen.

kinda affected but i'm putting it behind me.

wish you wrote a testimonial to me just like you did for him. but i really shouldn't compare. wishing you would spontaneously write. i'd be blessed.

family planningg. :)

2005-07-16T02:34:00.000+08:00

Which Family Guy character are you?

so you know what love is.

2005-07-12T19:07:00.000+08:00

no you don't.

letting her live in your heart,
giving her all the space in it,
and when it breaks
into a thousand shards,
you piece it back,
smile,
and invite her back in,
making it just like it was before.
no scars, no cracks,
no tears.

that's love.

(:

2005-07-09T22:32:00.000+08:00

surprise!
i hope dear you'll read this instead of everyone else!
;)

just wanted to give you a BIG thank you for the past two weeks when i was drowning in work, and this week when i was drowning in work and not coping well with it. you've always been my lil refuge from everything else and i appreciate everything you do for me. no one could have done what you did for me and i can always see how much you give to this relationship...

know that im learning and trying each day to show you a lil more each day alright?

also, despite not having much time for each other anymore due to my admission to mcm and your committment to A levels.. and with that the looming National Service, always know that as long we remain true to each other we'll be okay! :)

and soon when everything's over lets just go get a holiday! GRINS. creation of many more happy memories. (:

love you dearr!

(:

2005-06-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

and i'll still run another 10miles for you.

grinns. hello people. hello SHERMIE.

invasion. :D

wheee, nice friends of sherman please help me do this survey at http://doiop.com/survey okayy?

if you do, sherman will be extra nice to you. haha. :X

thank you!

paint my love.

2005-06-22T20:05:00.000+08:00

Paint my love
you should paint my love
it's the picture of a thousand sunsets
it's the freedom of a thousand doves
Baby you should paint my love

lovin' the exact same way.

2005-06-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

i've changed.
loving the same way.
but
never expecting anything
any longer.

still hoping you'll give and change.
BUT that's IF you want to.
if you don't want to,
its okay. really. :)
i don't ask for anything.

lovin' you. simply.
sufficiently.

if i get hurt,
i guess its my fault.
it always will be. :)

while i'm hurting,
maybe you'll be there,
maybe you won't.
but again,
i don't expect it. :)
maybe you'll change something.
maybe you won't.
but THEN again,
it doesn't matter. :)

bottomline is.
i'm gonna suppress.
everything.
sensitivities might remain the same. being hurt is inevitable. but i'm slightly more unfeeling already. i guess. and i suppose that's the only way you won't get hurt. loving you and just taking it all. unselfishly. whether it hurts or not, it isn't important. not anymore. :) as long as you're happy.

i guess love means giving without conditions.
and i'm fated to give.
regardless of how i feel.
maybe you'll do something in return.
maybe you won't.
that i won't ask any longer.
its all up to you dear. :)

still and always lovin' you
the exact same way.
don't doubt it ever, my dear.

words are the voice of the heart.

2005-06-14T20:13:00.000+08:00

" Love may be selfish, selfless, whatever you call it. But at the end of the day, one hopes to matter to people who matter. Got that? let's break it down. Say your girl really matters to you. She's your world. your sun. your air. Now wouldn't you want your girl to feel the same way about you? "

i so needed that. *rolls eyes*
that just really made things worse.
but i'm not blaming you for writing that.
guess i'm just not in the mood for reading anything else huh?

crying inside.

2005-06-14T19:24:00.000+08:00

the greatest thing you'll ever learn,
is just to love,
and be loved in return.

i know you've been hurt before.
i know you can't give as much as you want to,
not anymore at least.
all i really want,
is just to know,
that i'm still first place,
and will always be first place
in your heart of many desires.

please?

ever been there?

2005-05-13T18:22:00.000+08:00

i almost collapsed.

the only person
that mattered then.
you.
i swear.
everything else
blurred
into insignificance.

and i just saw
you.
alone.

waiting for me.
i smiled.
really.

and then the dream
shattered.
and i cried.

my eyes were
red.
tears.
i'd never shed
for anyone else.
never.

i tried to find redemption.
it was my fault.
mine alone.

is it wrong.
to love you
so much
that it hurts.

i saw myself falling.
but there wasn't anyone
there
to break the fall.

i thought you were
missing.
i thought you
failed me.
i thought you
had a life to live.
i thought you
were unbothered.
i thought you
were unaffected.
i thought you
didn't understand.
i thought you
dismissed me.
i thought you
were insensitive.
i thought you
didn't care.
i thought
every other word
you said
were just
words.
i thought
i was losing you.

but i thought.
i mistook
your intention.
i assumed.
i overreacted.
i acted like an idiot.
i failed again.
i fell.
hard.
to my ownself.
to my insecurities.
to my fears.
to my moods.
i fell.
completely.
i didn't deserve
forgiveness.

but you were here
all along.
in my heart.
in my mind.
in my soul.
next to me.

even as i was
on the
brink of collapse.
even as
i misunderstood.
even as i
acted like
a jerk.
even when i
didn't deserve you.
even when i
threw your concern
in your face.
even when i
wasn't worthy
of
you.

you knew my heart.
and i knew yours.
you said it was fine.
i figured otherwise.
i was right.
but i deserved it.
that treatment.
that cold silence.
that emotionless voice.
that self-condeming tone.

we'll never avoid conflict.
nor opposition.
nor circumstances.
nor the judgementals.
nor the self-righteous.

but we'll make it.
coz you've been here
all along.
and i've been there
from when i knew you.

making eternity
reality.
a superhuman task.
but i'm strong
you see.
because of you.
you'll always
have me.
undivided.
all. everything.

i'm sorry.
i don't apologize
just to anyone.
the one who
mattered, matters, and will matter.
in the past.
now.
forever.

i apologize to
you.

you-
share my joys.
share my sorrows.
share my weakness.
share my strength.
share my all.
but you don't
share
me.
i refuse that.
bacause
i'm yours.
only. alone.

i love you.
simply.
purely.
forever.

never strayed from the sidewalk.

2005-04-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

reading the things they carried.
trying to make sense of it.
woahs hearing dad playing the organ downstairs.
feeling totally bored.
waiting for you to reply my smses.
waiting. waiting.

yess. got sis's old phn.
can sms. can't call.
using second line on that.
going through camelot script later.
trying to familiarize myself with soundtracks.
i hate techno. the stupid fourth track.
stuck in my head
playing back like a broken record.

joyce's hair is WAY funni k?
shorttt. lol.
try not to comment anymore. :p

sunday tomorrow.
church.
hoping to be with you after that.
seeing comps. :)

feeling chocalatey.
but sore throat.
so i shall be good.

are you there?

breakaway.

2005-04-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

this week hasn't exactly been the best of weeks. was drifting in and out of focus even though i was determined to start getting work done and stop sitting on my load of assignments. was totally stretched even as i juggled everything. days were too short and nights were too long.

but i'm glad i'm back on track. or at least getting back on it. guess the term exams were a really good wakeup call. now i've just gotta figure out how to handle the upcoming production for drama, and finish restless2 for dance. its gonna be a tough time for me, but i know He's there for me, although i haven't exactly been the most angelic of people this year. i'm flawed. but He picked up the pieces, and patched me with His very hands.

ohhh, everyone COME FOR CAMELOT! its really going to be a great show! with all that effort that's being poured in, its gonna be worth EVERY cent! please do show some support for the building of the new CPA! its definitely going to be a great step for the school to begin offering the drama elective from next year onwards. :)

okayy. tada. time to go read somemore stuff. ;p

you're the wind beneath my wings.
no matter what, no matter where.

the feeling of futility.

2005-04-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

didn't go to church today. neither did i go ystd. totally bogged down by work and i'm totally just flat after reading and writing essays non-stop for the past few hrs. thanks for all who were there for me. really appreciate the concernn! and to peiyin, i'm so sorry i always don't really have the time to catch up with you or talk to you much online, but sometime we really need to meet and update one another yeahh? sooo much to tell you abt what's been going on. :)

and the A levels were put into perspective today. was talking to christine and some others and they were starting to realise how close it was getting. think its time i do that too. the suckiest part is having to neglect so many other things when you know how they mean so much more than the A levels. and the even worse part is when people you know blame you for neglecting those things. i seriously do NOT appreciate your 'concern'.

and everything just went wrong today. seriously, everything. boy you gotta hate blue days like this when everything just seems sucha a routine. what's the point in living if you don't feel the life? that's what a friend said on his blog. there's much truth in it, but you knw what? i have a great BIG Father who cares and knows all about my life. and He's given me special people who take time without fail to check up on how i'm doingg. and i'm always trying to put Him first despite how sometimes i just seem to be sidelining church. most importantly, i know He understands what i'm going through, even if nobody cares, and nobody knows. and even if everyone condemns me, He's always extending that hand towards me, calling me back to him. i know there's a place called grace.

anyways, gotta go soon!! promise to blog again soonn! soon. hahaha! out to dinner with sunday school guyys. woohoo! japanese foodd! :)

cheer up youu!

just walking in the rain.

2005-03-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

was wlking home in the rain. that sense of serenity and calmness engulfed me. all was so silent that i could hear my heartbeat. i like this sad feeling. sometimes i all just need to be away from everyone else and reflect on my life. a moment of self-rediscovery etched in an instance of sadness. rain and thoughts intertwined. i'm tired. tired of many things. but at the same time, i'm so glad for some people in my life. especially for you. you mean so much to me that it hurts sometimes. and that's the irony of it all.

sitting at my desk feeling the cold breeze on my face. i see the raindrops on my window sill. a drop. two. they fall with elegance, spreading into a moistened miniature layer on my desk.

i'll be patiently waiting by the phone. :)

i don't know myself very well i guess.

2005-03-21T21:46:00.000+08:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

the challenge of it all.

2005-03-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

went out today with her, really had a great time :) and i hope you enjoyed urself too dear. *huggs* haha.totally tired now...just staring blankly at the screen and nodding off.

anyway, spongebob is seriously hillarious. definitely not PG coz of the numerous connotations in there! and robots tooo! i love watching movies with you in my arms. :) can't believe its monday tomorrow. a new school term. which means one week closer to my prelim exams and A levels. so from now on, its STUDY. and more STUDY. until somehow, i'll be able to improve my terrible results. hmmm.

okay tt's all i'm blogging for tonight guys. i'm tired.

what would i give in return just to spend quality time with you?

heartbroken.try patching it back.

2005-03-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

i love you.

i know its just that YOU're friendly. but the more i love you, the harder i can accept how you're so close to every other guy. i don't want to feel this way, but i've given you my heart, and you know it. call it jealousy, call it selfishness, call it self-centeredness, call it whatever you want. you want me to trust you, you want me to believe that you love me, you want me to have that confidence in you. but whatever you're showing me isn't exactly helping.

i've given up so much. almost everything i once held dear. my ex-gf who wanted to get back together, so much of my time, and most of all, my ENTIRE heart. i withheld nothing. i'm not asking anything of you, after all, you're you, the friendly, bubbly, you. its not possible for you to change the way you are. you've reassured me a countless number of times, you've told me how you're insecure too. but you know what? i've changed for you. totally. i'll keep a certain distance from all my other social partners, coz i know how i'm with you and how that special someone is you, and only you alone. no one else takes that place.

love is unselfish, love is kind. but this part of love demands commitment dear. i want to commit it. will you dear? i hate sounding selfish, possessive, and all that, but there's a point where i've gotta say this, and if not now, i really don't know when.

shards of my heart in your hands.

Here By Me.

2005-03-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

I can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong

Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever know gets swept away
Inside of your love.

As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you're not here

may our hearts beat in tune to the rhythm of that love. :)

C D F C6

2005-03-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

woah, grades slipping like CRAP. :( its time to really buck up and gear myself towards prelims and As.

i love you so much. everytime i close my eyes its you i see. i haven't felt this way in a long time, but there you go, love is a strange but beautiful accident. how i wish you would stay in my arms always, with you, everythin' just feels right.

you make me smile. its just the way you look at me.

i pray you'll love me too. i don't wna lose you, to anything, to anyone. you are precious to me dear.

crushed.

2005-03-07T14:05:00.000+08:00

beyond recognition. was it a facade? was in an illusion? was it never meant to be? did i overrate myself?

i don't know.

waiting.

2005-03-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

patiently by the phone.

accidentally in love.

2005-03-06T19:09:00.000+08:00

it hurts so bad. why does it have to be like this? all i wanted was to love you. unconditionally. with all my heart. with everything i have to offer.

i don't wanna imagine you in the arms of someone else. if you meant nothing to me, it might not have mattered. but you do. you're different from everyone else. it sounds terribly selfish, but at least it tells me how much you mean to me.

i don't wanna feel this way. but i can't live in pretence. i could lie to anyone, but i could never make you believe that lie. and most of all, i could never betray my heart.

i love you. as long as i can, i will.

believe.

2005-02-11T21:46:00.000+08:00

one week to exams! pray and whack. :)

sometimes we forget who we are,
sometimes we miss all the essentials,
sometimes we fail to see beyond,
sometimes we get caught in between.

But you hold us close.
and you show us once again,
the meaning of it all.
Every nuance, every little detail.
Your complete plan.

it's all about love.

Chinese New Year's been a relatively peaceful one this year. every day's just a series of gatherings, lunches, dinners. well, pretty normal i guess. nothing exactly spectacular.

the reality just sank in. a few hours ago. that exams are coming. well, i guess escapism really isn't an option. its time to hit the books. hard. and totally cut down all social life. oh but then again its not possible. just realised there're a host of projects to be completed by next week. but once again, i'm gna learn to trust. there's nothing else i could do on my own. His strength is perfect.

i'm in this blissful dreamstate and nothing's gonna get in my way.

well-deserved rest.

2005-01-31T22:02:00.000+08:00

finally! an escape from the routine of school. drama's taking me off school on thrusday and friday! wheee. which means i miss history and economics tests? but it also means i miss lessons unnecessarily which i have to inevitably come to terms with when i get back to school. but who cares? its the short term i'm interested in at the moment because i just totally feel like crap this week. as you've probably realised, this was the best piece of news i've heard since school started? yeahh. definitely.

okay: here's worklist to remind myself. by this week:
1. Model UN resolution
2. Revise SEA topic on nation building
3. Find music/sounds for "three sisters"
4. History 'S' Writing Assignment
5. Revise Economics(National Income Accounting)
6. Literature essays(2 of them)
7. Finish reading "Macbeth" for Literature 'S'
8. Practice Nuclear Arms Race essays for IH
9. Read up UN System book before IH lectures

well. do i know where to start? well, probably not.

hopefully if i tell you that so many times, eventually you'll remember it and know my promises to be true... there's never a moment i don't think of you.

hypocrisy. maybe? yes? no?

2005-01-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

woah. it takes a damn sad blog entry to get millions of "hey are you okay" statements. other than that no one cares if you exist anyway. i've deleted that controversial post. stop asking me how i am. i'm fine. really. sometimes i just wonder if almost everyone's patronizing. ohwells nevermind.

take that, SEA!

2005-01-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

we wonnnn! you shld have seen the faces of those ppl in the stadium. :)

when He comes again.

2004-12-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

first night of X'mas concert totally rox! everyone did a great job and it went really well... was glad to see many of the new ppl invited to church impacted by the singing and other performances. it was amazing to experience the outpour of energy in every item presented, especially in the final number. indeed, He will bless our efforts in any circumstance even in the bleakest of situations.

just dead beat now. just wanna hit the bed asap and slp for at least 8 hours. haha. the exhilaration has died down and fatigue has set in.

i'm going to get over you. i promise myself that.

christmas just isn't complete.

2004-12-22T10:35:00.000+08:00

its X'mas concert today in church and i can't wait. but at the same time, i really hope He'll use the concert to touch lives and minister to the hearts of many lonely people out there. Christmas shopping is almost done. just about a few more little things to settle and i'm ready for the christmas lunch on the 25th. actually all i need is a nice tie. oh well, doubt i'll have time to look for it today but i'll prob go find it on Christmas eve!

i was totally crushed. i still am.

don't forget my christmas list tonight!

2004-12-20T10:16:00.000+08:00

its christmas REAL soon! can't wait for church concert nights and christmas lunch. but there's only a lil' prob...i haven't bought prezziess!

WELL. but i'm doing that todayy. gna go out to get stuff for everyone haha i don't think i forgot anyone coz for the first time this year...i actually made a LIST. much more organised. (:

haha and i'm rushing essays noww. so much for deciding to NOT do last minute work this hols. oh well...there's...erm...EVERYTHING i possibly have to do left UNDONE at the moment. lit and hist s essays are a BIG mess. and GP work is untouched. tried to do some reading up last night but i didn't really find anything much. well...wish i could just forget about the essays till after Christmas but it'll be too late by thenn...and i wouldn't exactly find the motivation to get started either.

been trying to work on the model UN thingyy and the goodnews network but i've failed(miserably) on both counts. my design has stagnated, and i'm having trouble reading up on foreign policy crap. why can't the Russians find something pretty interesting to work on in their foreign pol instead of making some big fuss over security issues with the US? ugh. every article is the same. borrrringgg.

oh must go watch Blade Trinity. pretty cool. but kinda gory i guess...at some parts. but i like the storyline. its different from the rest of the the-world-is-ending flicks out there and from the rest of the vampires-gna-wipe-us-out movies.

okay. i better get going. totally starved. need breakfast.

we are.

2004-12-17T11:13:00.000+08:00

See The Devil On The Doorstep Now, My Oh My
Telling Everybody ,Oh Just How To Live Their Lives
Sliding Down The Information Highway
Buying In Just Like A Bunch Of Fools
Time Is Ticking And We Can't Go Back, My Oh My

What About The World Today
What About The Place That We Call Home
We've Never Been So Many
And We've Never Been (So Alone)

Keep Watching From Your Picket Fence
You Keep Talking But It Makes No Sence
You Say We're Not Responsible, But We Are, We Are
You Wash Your Hands, You Come Out Clean
But Fail To Recognize The Enemy's Within
You Say We're Not Responsible
But We Are, We Are, We Are

One Step Forward, Making Two Steps Back, My Oh My
Riding Piggy On The Bad Boys Back For Life
Lining Up For The Grand Illusion
No Answers For No Questions Asked
Lining Up For The Execution
Without Knowing Why

Keep Watching From Your Picket Fence
You Keep Talking But It Makes No Sence
You Say We're Not Responsible, But We Are, We Are
You Wash Your Hands, You Come Out Clean
But Fail To Recognize The Enemy's Within
You Say We're Not Responsible
But We Are, We Are,

It's All About Power, Bout Taking Control
Breaking The Will ,And Raping The Soul
They Suck Us Dry 'Til There's Nothing Left
My Oh My, My Oh My

What About The World Today
What About The Place That We Call Home
We've Never Been So Many
And We've Never Been (So Alone)

Keep Watching From Your Picket Fence
You Keep Talking But It Makes No Sence
You Say We're Not Responsible, But We Are, We Are
You Wash Your Hands, You Come Out Clean
But Fail To Recognize The Enemy's Within
You Say We're Not Responsible
But We Are, We Are, We Are

It's All About Power, Bout Taking Control
Breaking The Will ,And Raping The Soul
They Suck Us Dry 'Til There's Nothing Left
My Oh My, My Oh My

i don't wanna think about it.

2004-12-17T08:49:00.000+08:00

ugh woke up with a really bad cold. i've totally lost my voice now so i guess i'm gna have problems on Saturday with the carolling. sigh. but i'll still try my best to sing!! think i just have to get some medication and let it recuperate.

last night was one of those sleepless nights. tossed around in bed for 3 hours as things just kept going through my mind. after being totally tormented by thoughts till 4, i finally got up and decided to do something more productive. so i sat down to read. but whatever i did, i saw you. and i wonder whether you were thinking about me just in that same way. probably not.

gonna have some potluck dinner later. probably going to give lunch a miss coz i'm just too sickly. better catch a doc by today before its too late. and yes, i still need to go shopping. think i'll drop by town later before dinner to pick up shirts and look for new shoes or something. and i need to buy slippers...haha...before i slip on wet floors again!

what we do in life, echoes in eternity.

2004-12-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

i totally need a break. been rushing about and handling so much at once suddenly it seems that 24 hours in a day isn't enough. realised i've been sitting on my assignments and procrastinating. anyway, its my aim to finish everything before Christmas this year!! someone remind me to consistently do work!! :)

yay. finally some cash for X'mas shopping! some scholarship award came at the right time..200 bucks, definitely a Godsend! after all, Christmas is a time of giving(as put so nicely by jeremy in the skit)! well, i'd rather take on the challenge as seeing Christmas as a time of reflection on His birth and on how this significant date 2000 years in history has impacted me. sometimes i guess we over-indulge in the world's perception of the festivity of Christmas - one of splurging and of wholesome enjoyment. but one must never ignore or marginalize the Greater Significance for the world-view of this holiday season.

its camp echo today! can't wait for it. totally looking foward to the time of fellowship. i miss camp already.

you know where you must be.

2004-12-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

Your heart will lead you home - Kenny Loggins

Sunny days and starry nights and lazy afternoons
You're counting castles in the clouds and humming little tunes.
But somehow right before your eyes the sun fades away,
Everything is different and everything has changed

If you feel you lost
And on your own
And far from home
You're never alone you know
Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home

Funny how a photograph
Can take you back in time
To places and races that you thought you'd left behind
Trying to remind you that you're not the only one
That no-one is an island when all is said and done

There'll come a day when you're losing your way
And you won't know where you belong
They say that home is where the heart is
So follow your heart and know that you can't go wrong.

succession never succeeds.

2004-11-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

came back from church an hour ago.
totally dead beat.
glad they finished cheoro-ing their dance.
and just glad to be able to serve.
took my 'favourite' train ride home on the NEL.

church tmr.
have to remember to hand in camp form!
and sign up for carolling. yay.
preparing my heart for x'mas.

one week to production.
manpower issues.
understaffed as always.
feeling totally stressed.
underproductive at times, even.

but put in the effort
and He will bless.

tomorrow's a day off from drama.
rest doesn't come easy nowadays.
gotta treasure it.
still need to finish some dumb essays.
and i can't neglect my other ccas.

give me a reason why i shouldn't clone myself.
i need it. badly.
three or more of myself.
to take on everything.

can't sleep.
the result of irregular hours of rest.
thanks for everyone who asked if i was okay.
i'm not.
but thanks anyway.

compulsive lying to myself.

2004-11-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

bored.
can't be bothered to type in prose.
aunt and cousin are staying over.
an entire day in church tmr.

skipping drama tomorrow.
enthusiasm for production is wearing out.
trying to focus.
trying.
still trying.
keep on failing. want to give up.
but thanks js. i needed that.

all i want for christmas is you.
i wanted to tell you so badly.
but you didn't want to listen.
it just gets worse.
just ignore me
as if i don't exist.

sometimes i just want to shut the whole world away.
self-centered me?
maybe.

when your heart's not open.

2004-11-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

oh well. for now its just drama and MORE drama stuff to do. the excitement's growing as Snow Queen approaches, but so is the work required. at least most of the sound effects have been found and props are coming together, but still, the work in theatre hasn't started yet. i seriously can't wait to go into theatre todayy! gotta check out the place!

came home last night with a throbbing headache...ugh, came online but didn't feel like talking or anything cuz the pain and fatigue was killing me. don't remember having anything like this happen to me for a long time now...but then again, i just woke up, and the condition hasn't seemed to improve. i need to last out this week. and i need to start getting to work on my history s paper stuff. and shucks, i'm still sitting on my lit s assignment. haha. plus there's the mainstream homework like GP and more History. ;(

was at archaeology yesterday. haha it started raining as soon as the thing ended, and enoch and myself had to run off in the pouring rain to get a cab. was freezing inside the cab lol. well, but we had a good time. i think. didn't really find anything though, only maybe a few seashells here and there. and lots of ROCKS. lots. but there's much to look forward to. haha, mrs chan's treatin' us to pizza hut tmr i think...at centerpoint. =)

and i'm already in the christmas mood!! was listening to christmas cds to find drama sounds and chanced upon this 1992 cd which my dad bought. so kewlll! its this album with christmas tunes sung by some kids choir and its sooo chirpyy. sure to cheer you up and put you in the mood for christmas! oh and i've begun figuring out my wishlist and prezzies i've gotta get for most people...hrmm...guess its never to late to start early. and its always good to experience the joy of christmas and not see the event as some routine every year. yupp. was recalling something that pastor said about never losing the meaning of christmas and reflecting on its significance every single year, regardless of how old we are. we're never too old to feel young!

well okayy gotta go do some reading and head to acsi theatre later. =)

ignorantly blissful.

2004-11-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

ughh.no more chinese for me. chinese to english translations provided by the school completely suck. they're totally inaccurate. well, to all who have yet to finish or have yet to throw in the towel for chinese, all the best, and may you reap what you have sown.

the wind is moving, but i am standing still,
a life of pages, waiting to be filled,
a heart that's hopeful, a hand that's full of dreams...
i need your light to help me find my place in this world.

Singapore idol tonight! time to appreciate the totally hilarious performances. wonder what's the theme tonight...hmmm.

that gleaming shard of glass wedged in my heart.

2004-11-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

really glad that oral presentation went well. wasn't as screwed up as i had expected it to be, considering the amount of effort put into both the slides and the speeches. well, there is much to thank Him for, especially for his providence in these little but significant areas of our lives.

to all those having their op tmr: all the best! remember, you've done your part, now all you have to do is to be confident in ur presentation, and pray that the rest will go just fine.

went out with jeremy and sy today. well, was kinda lookin' forward to catching a movie, but in the end, realised that the showtime was too late, and spent most of our time in the video game store in cine, playing this really really weird but cool game. LOL. darn. we have to get our hands on that game! its sooo engaging. hahaha. and yess. ugh. we waited like...3 hours for justina i think...and finally when she turned up, sy had left long ago and i was walking out of cine. hahaha. but couldn't blame her, she was caught up in some interview. so yeahh. was just totally bored while waiting. was slackin' arnd in bk. :P

well, its off to school tomorrow, studying chinese and doing history soc stuff. really hope that the 2nd archaeology expedition goes well. i definitely need to start on brainstorming templates and ideas for the design of the goodnews paper! promised i'd get it done a week ago but i could only start now coz of pw and other commitments.

sometimes you just don't feel like arguing. that's me, tonight. sorry if i sounded boring...but i was really in this blissful mood, and i wasn't exactly thinking of anything but...JOY. Joy that pw is over, joy that school has ended. =)

okay.its off to bed. goodnight to my blog. my emotions ran wild. i just didn't have the guts to face up to it. so i hid it.

happiness is just a teardrop away.

2004-10-29T22:53:00.000+08:00

sigh.s-paper troubles. maybe i shouldn't worry that much. after all, there's the promise of 14 free periods a week next year. wonder why i'm not exactly that tempted by it anymore.

well, i'm so worn out. pw, a major disaster. i just can't put my mind to pw anymore, even with all those complains about out slides and how they're completely void of any pictures. Shawn: "simplicity is the best way". so yeahh. i'm sticking with it and listening to my group leader. oral presentation generally went well although i was definitely rushing like crazy and totally out of touch with speaking to a crowd. sigh.

yay. solomon group photo finally done. oh man, we kept putting it off coz there were ppl missing each time...but today...we FINALLY came together as a group at the bleachers! i love the group! we're so good, team spirit was at an all time high esp at the final challenge!. already starting to miss the short time we spent together as a team.

went to jurong pt with yong xi and john, walked around trying to find some armour shop with yx but ended up at some indian medicine store...was totally hillarious! ended up eating at the food court coz' there wasn't any sushi buffet at fiesta. so lousy. and i ate so much that i was totally full by the time i had dinner with my family.

sometimes to know what happiness is, you first have to know what pain and suffering is. failure is the measurement of success.

i keep dreaming of us.

2004-10-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

heyy. i'll always be there for you! if you need someone to talk to you can call me yeahh? i know its tough getting over the loss of a loved one, but just take comfort knowing that you'll have God and myself behind you all the way.

it was a really hectic day. well, back on the archaeology project again, i'm starting to feel the strain again. it was a kinda rushed decision to embark on this initiative again, especially on an internal level when we had barely recovered from open house preparations, but i guess we have to seize opportunity when it presents itself. i really hope the response this time would be much greater than that of the previous event, but i'm also ready to leave it in his hands and just trust that He will oversee the project and bless it in his very own special way. glad to be in arts council committee, especially the idea of being given the chance to work towards a better future for the faculty, placed in a position to make a difference. i'll do my best, but i won't be doing it alone. together with 18 others, we'll work towards a more united and cohesive AC aRts!

attended Snow Queen blocking todayy. was really kewl and i especially loved seeing how its slowly but surely coming together. indeed, it was an amazing experience to sense the energy level among the cast even as the same scenes were flashed out repeatedly and drilled to ultimate precision and perfection. hope we'll all sustain this enthusiasm, both the cast, crew and ticketing personnel. can't wait for the production date and can't wait to move into theatre! its there where fond memories are forged and lasting friendships take shape.

for now, its just three main hurdles to clear. (1)project work, (2)chinese examinations, (3)SATs. yeahh. just three things standing between me and the absolute liberty which is manifest in the one plus months of holidays ahead. okayy. i'll press on.

saying something stupid like i love you.

2004-10-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

you captivate me. i don't know why. i still think about it all the time. its amazing how you can be in the distance yet appear ever so close to my heart. i seal this secret deep in my heart. no one must learn of this. no. but i know reaching you is an impossible dream, how can an angel possibly see beyond her light? but i am determined. i definitely am.

sometimes i wonder if you've noticed. you don't even respond. you just probably think to yourself that i'm insignificant, just a mere accquaintance. you probably don't sense anything. and even if you did, you'd probably dismiss it, shrug it off, pretend it never existed. but i made the choice to follow my heart. i can't turn back. it is the point of no return. i made the decision, and now, i have to face up to its conscquences. rejection. great uncertainty. fear that i'd lose you to someone else.

but you don't see that. you're oblivious to my feelings. you ignore me. maybe not all the time, but still, enough for me to feel the pain. enough for me to consider giving up. enough for me to sit back and just watch you go about talking to your friends, wondering if you even cared that i existed. maybe if i disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't make a difference. but if you went away tomorrow, it would mean the world to me.

how did relationships turn out so unfair? inbalance is evident. love is never reciprocated until it's too late. guess what, if you're actually reading this now, i don't think you'll even give it a thought. you'll just go..."oh, he's mad about someone else." or so you think. why then do i even bother typing this. each time you passed me by today i'd wish to talk to you. but conversation never lasted more than a mere couple of lines. each time i'd freeze up and forget everything i was planning to say.

i wish it could all end now. but i've gone too far to reject my heart's directive. i've gone too far to ignore the fact that i've ever thought about you this way. i can't deny you and i can't deny my heart. to do so would be sin against myself and against my will. i can't bring myself to renounce this feeling deep within the recesses of my soul. i love you. i'm not too stupid to know what love is. i'm just too stupid to understand how i should react to it. would you give me that chance?

you threw it in my face.

2004-10-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

love is compassionate, love is kind, love does not envy. how cliche. hearing it more than once causes its meaning to slowly but surely erode away into emptiness. each time i consider my shortcomings, each time i realise i'm not perfect, and i could match up to you. ever. but i tried. and i will try. though the odds are against me, i will persist. painful yet admittedly necessary. and at the end of that dark treacherous road will i find redemption and the mending of my broken heart will finally be complete. i want only the best for you. and nothing else. even if it means losing you forever. coz i've learnt well - that's what true and pure love really is.

i have so much to thank Him for. I'M MOVING ON TO JC2!. but yeahh. the results were like crap. absolute rubbishy. C C D F. the target was A A A F. ughh. but then again, it could have been much worse, considering the meagre time i was spending on my books. even one week before promos, i had no idea where to begin, and my revision was in shambles. now with my S-paper dreams crushed and my resignation to taking 3 A level subjects, the best i can probably work towards is attaining excellent results for what i'm LEFT with. there's so much to prepare for. with chinese 'round the corner and SATs immediately after that(the next day), what i really need is the drive to keep going. hmmm. what drive? surely spending almost all your time towning isn't much of a motivational tool? neither is spending your entire life slogging out on ccas and non-academic matters.

well.i'm probably underachieving.and it freaks me out to see everyone else doing so well. wait. maybe not in my class, or in the arts faculty. and the shocking part is, right now, i actually MISS CCAAB camp! was talking to colin about it and yes, he echos the same sentiments. i just can't forget the commaradarie in the face of obstacles and severely testing hurdles. the harder we pushed ourselves to achieve and overcome, the stronger the bonds that were forged. i miss some of you in my group! i miss talking to you. YOU. can't help thinking about YOU too.

acjc open house. aRts fac video's nearly there. guess all that effort has paid off. and i really have to thank my most efficient and committed vice-president, chalene, who effectively (1)designed the booth (2)got the necessary articles (3)put together a team to help her carry out the work required and (4)always fixing her eyes on Him, letting Him show History society the way ahead. indeed, let us commit everything into His hands and pray for the success of the open house as one college!

yupp.so its off to sch at 6 plus tmr. still have to load more photos for the slideshow. this is getting kinda monotonous, but still i'll keep going till its finally finished. haha. must adopt a positive mindset. =) and i'm reading poetry at LT3 tmr! omg. its gna be so so so so embarassing! reminds me of yawp, especially the poems, "The Duel"! hahaha.
don't come watch me!! i'll ffreak out. haha. it'll be WAY cool if we could dramatize it though... especially the "Snowman" piece...(right dawn?). lol.

anw i'll reiterate this...i can't wait for SNOW QUEEN...drama end of year production!!! ughh. it seems so far away, and i've seriously missed all the times we had in theatre. just thinking of it brings back so many fond memories. it was there i met some of the closest friends i've ever had. nothing and no one can deny me the richness of that experience. i guess we often feel that the past has no relevance to what and who we are. i beg to differ. the past brings with it a unique set of relationships, both failures and successes in friendships, as well as a individual perception of the people all around us, enriching our interactions from day to day.

okay enough said. :) john just called. better rest now coz i have to get up REAL early tomorrow. and i need to divide myself among 4 ccas. i'm so taxed. haha. but i guess its my fault for taking on too much. all i can do now is to systematically handle EACH cca and allocate my time well enough. yupp. goodnight blog. and goodnight to everyone reading this.

fragile heart.

2004-10-20T19:02:00.000+08:00

sometimes the most beautiful gift is one you already possess. its amazing how most of us take so much for granted until everything is taken away from you, or witness how someone loses those gifts. be it loved ones, talents, possessions, the loss of it often comes with incomprehensible regret and sorrow.

i know you're hurting. and if u're reading this, do take comfort that lots of us will be praying for you, and we'll be there for you if you need us.

can't be bothered.

2004-10-11T19:40:00.000+08:00

argh. now i don't even know if i can get at least a B for my history. grr. somehow murphy's law always seems to work. if it can go wrong it WILL go wrong. well, i guess i shan't fret over it, anyway promos are ending. tomorrow actually. and i'll be one happier person. =)

things to look forward to after promos:
(i)Snow Queen(drama production!! ong i miss drama sooo much!) (ii)CCAB - some leadership camp, haha, i know at least a few people who aren't totally enthusiastic abt this ;) (iii)Youth Conference '04 - yay! its off to ANOTHER stayover camp. (iv)Christmas - the concert, the occasion, and yeahh, the PRESENTS!!

song of the moment: Avalon - Testify to love
haven't listened to this for ages. brings back some old memories thoughh. but i love it anyway.

and yeahh, thanks all who remembered my b'dae! and thanks to jus for the prezzie! oh and sorry i didn't exactly have time to link you...i'm doing it noww! haha. c'ya at YC!

bird's eye view.

2004-09-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

Bette Midler - From A Distance

From a distance, the world looks blue and green
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream
and the eagle takes to flight.
From a distance there is harmony
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.
From a distance, we all have enough
And no one is in need.
There are no guns, no bombs, no diseases,
No hungry mouths to feed.
From a distance we are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace
They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance.
From a distance, you look like my friend
Even though we are at war.
From a distance I cannot comprehend
What all the fighting is for.
From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land.
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
It's the heart of every man.
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance.

i love this track. found it on my burnt-cds just todayy. my econs tutor rox. she took the time to go thru lotsa concepts with me today. somehow, i feel much more confident after that consultation session. just trying to keep my focus. SEA hist is almost done, started on othello, working on e4(esp. Journey's End), and trying to work on economics steadily. its one more week to promos. but i'm glad i'm starting to get the pace right. thanks everyone for the concern. yeahh, a little stressed out, but things will work themselves out. i'm sure they will.

everything i do, i do it for you.

2004-09-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

i love that song. just happened to be listening to it again when i randomly played mp3s on my com.

kinda glad revision is on track now. all i have to figure out what to do now is (i)underlining quotes for e4 books (ii)OTHELLO revision. grrr. haha.lit seems kinda fun but not when u've got some screwed up tutor who doesn't know what she's talking about, and deeming that we're the ones at fault. well, next week's lit and econs week. mostly. hope to finish SEA by THIS week. and start on IH next week.

ugh. SEA nationalism. damn long chapter la. and its all for maybe, one or two essays. plus colonial rule and impact, which is a whooping SEVEN lecture chapters, all for ONE essay. wow. its amazing how studying history can be so fulfilling yet leaves you with that occasional feeling of being in the lurch. but having said that, the end is in sight. hmmm. finally. relief.

so sorry haven't been talking to lotsa ppl recently. miss all of you, and definitely regret not having the time to have long convos we used to have online or somethingg. well, and all the best for promos, just keep pressing on and trusting in Him. all will be fine. i'm certain.

well i guess i shld get back on my books. really trying to cram dates now.hahaha. and figuring out econs.

how reflective.

2004-09-18T22:57:00.000+08:00

eXpressive: 4/10
Practical: 3/10
Physical: 5/10
Giver: 7/10

You are a RSYG--Reserved Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Nice Guy/Nice Girl.

Oh, poor RSYG. You're the one all your friends of your target sex *should* be dating when you have to watch them go out with jerks. You're the sweet one that the lead in a romantic comedy ends up with after s/he learns a valuable lesson. You're the best friend, the chaperone and the shoulder to cry on when you should be the lover. Well, no one ever said people were smart.

You dislike conflict -- you prefer to express yourself through action, not discussion -- but you know it is necessary. This means you are more likely to tackle an issue before it grows, but you're also more likely to stop fighting before the issue is resolved to your satisfaction. This isn't necessarily a bad thing -- it's kind of a nice compromise between fighting about everything and fighting about nothing -- but you have to remember to look out for your own interests sometimes.

You have a strong sexual appetite, but it seems so out of place with the rest of your persona that people find it hard to believe. Often they try to shield you from sexual content -- it's ridiculous, but you can use it to your advantage: everybody wants someone clean in the kitchen and dirty in the bedroom. That's you.

You don't want to cheat, but you might. Especially since it's only when you're in a relationship that you start getting the attention from your target sex that you should have been getting all along. Your experiences could make you misanthropic if you weren't so tenderhearted.

A lot of RSITs think they're RSYGs. They're not.

You'll end up with someone who deserves you in the end.

Of the 87427 people who have taken this quiz, 3.6 % are this type.

take the quizz here! =)

i know.

2004-09-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

suddenly, it seems the whole world is watching you, waiting for you to make a mistake in your all seemingly perfect life.

and its terrible feeling this way, coz you know how much you've tried to live the life which you deemed expressive of your true self, and how it reflects your potential and ambitions. everyone has the right to idealise, even dream about themselves making it one day, although the motivations for that success can differ among every individual.

what really sucks is that people don't respect that personal self you are, they think you aren't good enough for them, they think you don't deserve to hang out with them, they think you can't fit into their supposed clique, and they think that you're just being fake(coz u're probably better then them in some aspects). they're just inferior, think of it that way. which is why they're even picking on your faults all the time, trying to make you look bad to boost their image, which isn't really much better.

and the part that sucks much more is this: that they go about you, happily pretending they accept you, yet you can sense this distance between themselves and you, and their unexplainable passiveness towards you, and that eagerness to leave you out of everything and anything.

sometimes they talk to you about others, tell you what they find really weird about others, criticize, backstab, whatever you wish to call it. and how the heck would you even know that they're not doing the same defamatory activity behind your back , to someone else regarding yourself?

yes, YOU out there. reading this miserable piece. if you fall into THAT stereotype, for goodness sake, i hope u're PULSATING with remorse. or at least give it some thought. if you wish to throw an insult, do it on my tagboard. you want to send me a personal one, email me. just face me. or tell me straight to my face you don't like the way i'm making my life choices. don't give me that hypocritical smile. or that distant treatment, trying to leave me out or something. you know who you are. maybe not one of you. there's just so many of you out there. i know. i always do. i observe, and make a silent note.

call it whatever you like. call this an intolerant entry. call this an entry written with an air of defiance. call this irony if you think i'm referring to myself. call this a moment of disgust expressed by insignificant me. call this an entry of irrelevance. i DON'T CARE. truth is, if you can't face up to this post, you're guilty. you can dismiss it by closing this window. you can remove me from your blog links. you can cut off all ties with me. but you know what? the truth stands. only you can examine yourself and be your own "looking-glass". the most accurate judgement of oneself is that from (i)God and (ii)himself/herself. so don't deny it. you're just afraid to admit it. face the truth, don't face it with a hypocritical attitude, coz the truth just mocks you back, in YOUR FACE.

the right words to say.

2004-09-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

been a really great time at church today. i'm finally starting to get into the motion of studying though its pretty slow at the moment. well, i guess i'd just have to discipline myself and keep moving along. its 3 weeks to promos and not the time to stumble! as for the sec 4s, all the best for tmr's prelims yeahh? remember we'll be praying for you all and He'll be there for you.always. we j1s survived as a batch and so will you guys. =)

ugh.now blogger's okay. and tagboard is down!!. can't tag tonight.aww.so sad. well. really kinda sleepy. and i don't think there's really much for me to write todayy. so yeahh. =*

love isn't a choice, its a calling. don't reject it if it comes knocking on your door. it will. someday.

dead beat.

2004-09-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

i'm completely in dazeland. need a longg goodd sleep now.haha. came back awhile ago from a long day in church and a short visit to grandparents' place. well. really glad i could make it for ypg and choir today, and i loved the song we sang at choir. its actually coming together now, considering when i first tried the parts out, it sounded really weird. completely off-tune. haha.

well. wanted to blog this morning. but the dumb blogger interface was down again!!. ugh. swear i'd sue blogger if i was paying for this service. grrr. and its still so slow now. took a WHOLE minute to load up this page. hrmmm.

hmmm.but last night was fun. slack night. went to borders after dinner, getting a little shifty after hitting the books(or attempting to) for about 3 hours or so. later went down to dome. and i forgot the amazing effect coffee has on me. omg. i think i'm nuts. it was cappuccino then hot choc. not like the hot choc reversed the effect the coffee yielded. oh and there was this kid at the next table. cute. waving frantically trying to get some attention. and the poor kid kinda slipped on the seat and slided down(ouch). luckily he didn't cry. aww. he just looked super blurrily at me. like.hmmm.the kinda look which just makes everyone's heart meltdown.

i stayed up ALL the way till about 2am, NOTHING could get me into dreamland. not that the dogs nextdoor which began to HOWL(freakyy eh?) helped much. at 2am lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. decided to go online. haha. ugh. of course no one was there. lonely. lol.

yeah yeah. then i finally fell asleep at probably 3 plus. so i'm like a living zombie this morning. ugh. and was so tempted to get coffee again. i guess coffee has this amazing addictive effect cuz it yields side effects which just makes you ask for more.

just (re-re-re-re)re-arranged my desk this morning with all my notes piling up to get into the studying mood. dosen't seem to help. everytime i pass a fleeting glance to that stack of econs notes, i get turned off. a terrible lack of motivation has overcome me. oh.yesss.and somehow my history notes possess a sedative effect. every word seems to find its place in my thick skull after an average time of approx 5-10 minutes. ugh. studying blues. as blue as the dust-covered Economics text by Sloman, sitting in the corner of my room, sneezing every minute or so in its state of neglect and misery. now there's just FEAR for the promos.

okay. i can't take it anymore. its good night for now.haha.really no point trying to force myself to stay up, besides gotta get up on time for church tmr. =)

bored.

2004-09-10T10:04:00.000+08:00

How to make a sherman

Ingredients:

3 parts intelligence

5 parts arrogance

3 parts beauty

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add sadness to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

there is nothing, i wouldn't give.

2004-09-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

haha still having a problem getting down to serious revision. ugh. always getting distracted by something. well, i guess i'll have to try again tmr. at least i tried doing so at the void deck todayy. just that nothing was going into my head. sighh. hmmm. well i guess its time i focus on the task at hand! (:

Singapore idol was seriously screwed up. i wonder how the jerry guyy got in. sighh. beverly's really good and i definitely don't fault Leandra for getting in, but c'mon, Jerry can't sing lol, i think lotsa choir ppl sing better than him, and so much for his "unique voice". ugh. there's too little power in his voice to carry sentimental songs (esp. those by Michael Bolton) through. the judges DO have a reason to get upset. i hope the wildcard round sees beverly getting through to the top 10. oh well.

heyy dearie, get lotsa rest yeahh? u sounded really drowsyy. hope the medicine helps! =) miss ya lots!.LOL. yupp. i'll tty tmr!

Michael Jackson - Ben

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I’ll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You’ve got a friend in me
(you’ve got a friend in me)

Ben, you’re always running here and there
(here and there)
You feel you’re not wanted anywhere
(anywhere)
If you ever look behind
And don’t like what you find
There’s something you should know
You’ve got a place to go
(you’ve got a place to go)

I used to say, I and me
Now it’s us, now it’s we
(I used to say, I and me)
(now it’s us, now it’s we)

Ben, most people would turn you away
I don’t listen to a word they say
They don’t see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I’m sure they’d think again
If they had a friend like ben
(a friend)
Like ben
(like ben)
Like ben

sometimes i wonder.

2004-09-09T10:18:00.000+08:00

woke up with a headache. must have been the late nights...hrmm.anyway i'm kinda determined to start promo revision TODAY! which means its time to actually forget about everything else and start hitting the books and endless pile of notes and tutorials. sigh. okayy i shan't complain. having goals is one thing, reaching them is a completely different matter.

tried blogging yesterday after the hist soc farewell. ugh. blogger went down again, and i couldn't even type in my post without losing it at least 2 times. so tired after trying for a LONG while, decided to sleep without blogging...haha. well, farewell party went okay i guess. a few problems here and there, but on the whole, i gathered that the seniors did enjoy themselves. =) anywayy, i'm really glad that there was quite a large turnup, but i also see the need for us J1s to come closer together. (like Chalene would put it, we need BONDING time). well, its time to see to that i guess.

i'm kinda undecided whether to stay at home or go somewhere to studyy. really feel like heading down to church, but the long journey there just puts me off. sighh. and i definitely have to go somewhere, coz there're just SO MANY distractions at home. okay. i'll go bathe then decide. hmmm.

you seem pretty near, yet all the more distant.

saying a prayer.

2004-09-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

okay.i don't think i left out anything for the farewell tomorrow. =) i hope not. anyway its too late to start thinking about anything which might have been overlooked. haha. so i shan't even BOTHER. well, i hope the farewell goes well tomorrow. i'm optimistic about it.

well. take care yea deariee? do get lotsa rest, and go see a doc or something if it gets worsee. *huggs*. i care. anyway, love talking to you online, yupp. i'll tty again tmr or somethingg yeahh? lets see, i'm gna rush from school to grandma's house, to turf city for some last min shopping, and then to the farewell partyy. hahaha. hope i'll last out. and not fizzle out. =)

had a fantastic experience todayy. had agreed to help kenneth pick up some fabric paint from spotlight and just as i arrived in plaza sing, realised dawn had ALREADY bought the fabric paint. oh wells.ugh. just hung around for awhile. bumped into a few ppl here and there. hahaha. well, good luck guys with working with the souvenirs. really appreciate all the effort u've all put in! lets hope the seniors will love it yeahh?

lecture today was seriously UNPRODUCTIVE. for the first one hour, i was longing fervently to get out of that LT and go play pool. bleah. should have agreed JX to pon and play. crap. okay.fine.its my fault. then after that, drowsiness set in, and i wasn't even actually listening anymore. i heard everything, but i wasn't listening. then i started to highlight notes endlessly with all the colours i could gather in a bid to stay awake. turning point for waking up: when she called Sharmini, Jolyn and Suresh to act out some scene from a typical colonial society. was smiling to myself. tech-ie in drama has a great excuse not to take part in the great ACT. hahaha. =) omg. they looked so awkwardd. felt a little guiltyy.hahaha.

well, okay, i better turn in now. tried to do some math just now, but apparently, it was a futile attempt. ugh. why am i even bothering to continue with math.?! haha. i better do well and get my S papers and drop math....(oh boy, that sounds really idealistic).

uhh.ugh.ouch.

2004-09-07T10:02:00.000+08:00

trying to coordinate a farewell party is never easy. trying to coordinate one where everyone tells you they can't make it at the last minute is SUICIDAL. okok. i'm gna calm down. *takes a deep breath* okay. i really hope it turns out well. hmmm. i guess i'll just commit everything to Him and pray that it'll go well. there's really no point in fretting over it.

haha. i'm still deciding whether to turn up for another History lecture todayy. i really wonder if this hols gna be enough for me to cover all the work which i haven't actually encountered throughout the term. i seriously don't think so. one day into the hol and i've realised the vast amount of paperwork to be done, not to mention the revision plan which i INTENDED to follow. =P i guess i'll just have to be more flexible with my time.

have a grt day deariiee! =) everyday's a busy dayy but i guess we've all gotta cope. okayy. haha.gotta go bathe and then head down to sch.bleahhh.

i love this.been listening to it recently. =)

Hillsongs - For this Cause

Hope has found its home within me
Now that I've been found in You
Let all that I am be all You want me to be
'Cause all I want is more of You

Let Your presence fall upon us
I want to see You face to face
Let me live forever lost in Your love
'Cause all I want is more of You
All I want is more of You

I'm living for this cause
I lay down my life
Into Your hands
I'm living for the truth
The hope of the world
In You I'll stand
'Cause all I want is You
All I want is
All I want is You
Jesus

self conscious.

2004-09-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

ugh.boring day.I HAVE NO LIFE. really. maybe she's right, i'm pretty boring after all. sigghh.but its not like i wanted it. so much for being cramped up in a lecture theatre for indoctrination, 7 hours straight. thank goodness she bought snacks to make life a little better, although we just had to admit that after some time, there was NO possible treatment for our fatigue, not even the plentiful supply of prawn crackers, kinder bueno, and seaweed chips. and THERE GOES MY VOICE AGAIN. i think i snacked too much.

i love this song. kept listening to it over and over after not having heard it for quite some time.

Go the Distance

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

the simplest things we assume.

2004-09-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

sigh. parents had a really heated argument this morning before church, left in a terrible situation of watching a cold war(now fully formalized) at home, with my mum refusing to talk to my dad and vice versa. its definitely not the time to start blaming anyone responsible for this discord. sighh. i hope it gets better, its definitely affecting me now. the house is in COMPLETE silence, and the silence is DEAFENING. but it doesn't look like its getting better. my sis is trying to be the peacekeeper and she's too tired to carry on trying. i'm completely stressed out over it and i'm just trying to avoid the entire situation. helpless.

thanks for assuring me that things are gonna turn out fine dearie. felt a little better. but things still are kinda bad. and i don't see how they're gna get better. =( but still, thanks yeahh? glad you had a nice dinner out with your family...bleahh, i didn't.

i guess i'll just slp on it. i've prayed about it and i guess the only thing i can do now is to be confident that He'll intervene to make things a little better. sigh. i have to believe it.

forget it. resolve. move on.

2004-09-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

there's too much weighing on my mind. i can't just shrug it off. but then again its gna make me a really depressed person if i go on harbouring these thoughts. i guess i've gotta let it go, and just let renewal take place. and i don't even know if there's somebody new. sigh. inner turmoil. and i'm really confused by how you act towards me. am i reading too deeply? perceiving emotions that were never there to begin with? oh well. i can't slp. i need to resolve the conflict within me. and i'm so worried for so many others, you guys know who you are...well...do take care yeahh? will be praying for all of you.

orangge. furball.

2004-09-03T21:55:00.000+08:00

Teacher's Day celebrations today. the celebrations were pretty good i thought. great performances especially the ACSian theatre dance. really great. haha. yeahh and the talented ppl who went up there to dedicate song items. on the whole, it was indeed a memorable experience celebrating teachers' day for the first time in college.

went to town after that. met up with Ben who had loads to say abt his Japan trip and later, David. went to watch Garfield the movie firstt at Cine. luckily, it wasn't a letdown. yes, it was funny, hilarious to say the best, but it was definitely no-brains kinda comedy. lame at times, cliche lines here and there, but on the whole, it was a great laughing experience. not to say that i didn't have enough practise laughing at the teachers' dance and games item in sch previously. haha. tt reminds me, eka tanu's damn funni. he looks pretty stifled on stage. LOL. probably nervous. but awww....at least he tried! =)

after that we went to meridien, LANed for like one hour, bleah, i suck at Unreal Tournament la. after some time, it was just David and Ben trying to boost their scores by hunting me out.haha. tower defense today was a complete flop. kept letting much of the spawn pass us by lol. haha. guess we need more ppl to play a good game. POINT being, i had FUN. yes. ahaha! downside is, i'm completely broke. not that its the first time this has happened, but its probably the millionth time this has happened THIS MONTH. bleargh. i should watch my expenses i guess.

saw lotsa ac ppl in town haha. was walking all the way from orchard mrt to plaza sing. lets see, i think i saw rachel yap, audrey, other aa ppl, some sci ppl, and some couple on the train looking as if they were abt to make out. lol. was on the train there with collin and yong xi, talking loads of rubbish, as alwayss haha.

okayy gotta rest now. yawwnn. haha. matrix rev soundtrack - navras. damn kewll. listening to it again. lol. really funky beat.haha. first part is pretty haunting though.lol.

see we were rightt.

2004-09-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

haha.yay. christopher lee and daphne made it in!! lol. can't remember who the other one was, but anyway, they're good! at least Singapore has good judgement. =) okay gna slp now. really tired alreadyy. teacher's day celebrations for acjc tomorrow!! so its off to town after that! definitely looking forward to ending the school term on a great note!

omg.

2004-09-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

now you're in the world.

2004-09-02T21:44:00.000+08:00

OMG. Singapore idol rawks. absolutely!!. especially this batch of 10 contestants. they definitely stood out more confidently and more talented than the previous batch! which is exactly why the results are pretty uncertain...and my entire family's anticipating the results with great eagerness, stuffed into my parents' room, eyes fixedly on the tv set...hahaha.and my dad's terribly opinionated about it...he was so enthusiastic about voting for some of the contestantss...haha daphne's damn sweet, think she'll go quite far...hopefully!.hahaha.
my dad thinks so too! see. like father like son. =)

okayy gg off now to watchh.ciao!

bi-centennial.

2004-09-02T18:09:00.000+08:00

haha.the title says it all.my 50th post. quite an accomplishment since i'm really not someone who blogs much. =)

well just got home and had a bath. really spaced out now. haha. i'm so glad my voice is COMING BACK!! wanted to town with yong xi and shane but apparently my homely instincts got the better of me. besides i've gotta have dinner home todayy, coz i haven't exactly been home for dinner nowadays i suppose. family time is important. yupp.

yawn.guess what.i think i need a long nice rest. okay. zzzz. sms me if there's anything urgentt! i'll get back to u ltr okayy? haha.

where would i go.

2004-09-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

i love GP lessons with Eka Tanu. He's so funny even when he tries so hard to act strict. and yes, i love GP lessons coz they're so slack. as in, just look at the amount of time we can spend in the computer labs. as opposed to doing essays, compre passages. and all those reading package tests. =)

i had a LONG lunch just now. really long. about 4 periods? really looking forward to dismisal after the arts meeting and its HOLIDAYS! finally. considering we have a teacher's day celebration tomorrow which i definitely do NOT intend to attend. i'm losing my voice. can't even sing properly now! sighh. oh well. i shall get lots of water and hope that it gets much better over the weekend. can't wait for Saturday's dinner at church!

i'm trying not to dwell on the load of revision that'll bog me down during this holidays. i need a rest, away from all the History and Lit essays, away from all the lectures that didn't seem to make sense, away from all that project work intricacies, and definitely away from all the people who just get on my nerves. To sum it all up, i'm running away from reality. I hope reality itself dosen't catch up with me. but i know it will. and i'm just sitting here silently waiting for that long anticipated day where i would finally garner in me a sense of URGENCY to start preparing for my promotional exams. but till then, i'll just give myself that WELL DESERVED break.

okay. the bell just went. time for arts council meeting. well. i certainly hope it won't take too long. i wna crash.

thought i'd compact this.

2004-08-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

you're the reason i believe in love, and you're the answer to my prayers from God above. i love those lyrics..haha.somehow it meant alot to me. probably will never know why.

visited rvhs today, everything looks the same i guess, but it definitely felt heartwarming to be able to enjoy conversations with some of the teachers, especially the ones who helped me through my exams to JC. was kinda disappointed i didn't get to catch up with some of them coz i was a little too late! but still, i was really glad that many of my sch friends came back...miss some of them so much, all in all, it was a scene that brought a sense of joy and pride to be a RVian. i guess my sec sch life did deliver many harsh but essential lessons - lessons i'm not abt to forget especially since promos are approaching - that hard work is the only and surest path to success. I'm sure that the Lord will bless with the necessary effort put in, but first, i've gotta help myself, and get myself out of this ditch.

i'm so glad for friends. every friend is different, yet similar in playing a pivotal role in our lives. indeed, if not for the friends i had, i wouldn't have been where i am today, probably lost it all and flunked out of my O levels. a really big thanks to you guys, even for being terribly enthusiastic (or should i say, overenthusiastic at times) in pressing on in revision, somehow the momentum caught onto me and i found myself going on and making progress, only coz u guys were surging forward too. somehow, it gave me the drive to want to succeed and not be left behind.

thanks ian for Noah's ark! damn nice. haha. keep listening to it. the quiet parts are effectively putting me to sleep.

gotta work on my e4 essay tomorrow. think i'll be dropping by to the esplanade library to pick up some texts, before heading down to church to do some work...haha. definitely can't concentrate at home...=)

haha. i'll end with a song.

they may be clapping for me,
but i'll for you to come get me...

day by day, you're coming closer,
making our way clearer and straighter,
turning out faces into the light...

i haven't felt this way for a long time.

2004-08-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

well.definitely a great day for me. at least all that preparation for the SEA test wasn't in vain. =) thanks to all who were encouraging me! and all glory has to go to Him in giving me strength and the ability to exercise clarity of thought.

i'm missing school tomorrow! at least from 10am onwards. just got a parents letter requesting that i be let off to visit RV tomorrow. can't wait to catch up with friends there and especially the teachers...who i am indebted too for helping my get through my sec 4 year! i'll always respect them for the inspirations they've been to me.

i think i've got over you. time for me to move on, and not look back again. i can't afford to make mistakes i've made previously, sometimes, i wonder if i was even right to begin with. but then again, that closes a chapter and now, i'm open to anything. i can't say it dosen't hurt anymore, coz i'd be lying to say so, but all i can offer myself is the chance to start something new, instead of living in the shadows of my past.

night out.

2004-08-28T10:07:00.000+08:00

haha.just woke up and returned from breakfast with family. had sucha great time last night despite not being able to go bowlingg!! =( its been great having the opportunity to hang out as a batch once again considering we all haven't exactly been free to do so the past month or so since the june holidays ended.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joleen and Liling!! =) really glad that we could all come together to celebrate. loved the fellowship over dinner (Fish&Co, The Glasshouse)! haha.but this is probably gna be one of our final gatherings before we all hit the books and prepare for out exams yeahh? let's encourage one another to keep working towards clearing (and maybe even doing well) our exams.

okayy. i better start revising. SEA History test coming up on Monday and i have absolutely NO idea how i'm gna be able to finish two whole lectures in two days (maybe even less, considering the time i'll spend in church). hmmm.yeahh. wish me luck! i'll just trust Him i guess.

pw blues.

2004-08-27T15:45:00.000+08:00

hmmm.stuck in the computer labs. trying to find MORE lit reviews for proj. work. sigh. feeling kinda drained from staying up late to finish my essay. but i'm glad we're gg out later as a j1 batch! looking forward to it. =) but i wanna watch a movie. coz i haven't done so for sucha LONG time!

okayy. i hope this lesson ends soon. heading to church first to prepare for our teacher's day item this sunday.
*staring at the clock*

the storm.

2004-08-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

Singapore idol was great! lol.so many wanabes who just couldn't make it and yet, at the same time, i was pretty impressed by how well some of the contestants could sing! feeling less depressed today i guess, although i was still tired, was practically sleeping through the day.ugh.i'm sucha sleepyhead. well. still working on lit assignment.hmmm.i'm finally seeing how this entire piece fits together and i'm coming up with an outline! =) its definitely good progress considering i was staring at the assignment the WHOLE of last night, trying to make sense out of it and figure out how to structure my essay.haha.yupp.

yay.results coming out soon!! i hope whoever deserves to get in gets in! =) haha! okay.running off to the tele!!

acceptance. resolution.

2004-08-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

staring at my e8 assignment due this friday. and i have absolutely no idea where to start.

i'm terribly distracted today and somehow, i just lost focus in almost every single lecture or tutorial i attended. somehow, somewhere, something was on my mind, and the recurring headaches didn't make it any better. i don't know what's happening to me, and it definitely can't be that i'm still thinking about you after all this time. whatever it is weighing down heavily on my mind, it isn't good. promos are coming soon and i'm starting to really get demoralised. somehow, i know i've gotta start working for the grades, but i can't bring myself to. people see a side of me telling them i'm really enthusiastic about assignments and tests and all that academic stuff, but they don't realise i'm just ME, and i'm equally susceptible to the laziness, procrastination, and ugly traits of human nature.

i've tried to work at improving, failed, picked myself up, failed again, got up again, and now, i'm really tired. sometimes i wonder if all this effort is worth it. i've seen others trapped in slavery to the demands that life hurls at them with merciless rage. is this the way it has to be? maybe its the only way to get through life. but then again, this is not the way it has to be. i'm sure there's another way. some road which leads to contentment.

contentment. does that ideal even exist? there's always something higher, something better, that we secretly desire. deep within ourselves, we know we want to achieve the best. and we can't stop. it grapples us and tosses our poor souls into an endless pursuit of worldly entrapments, each spurring us on to greater folly in continuing along life's journey to achieve greater heights. or so all the motivators in life claim. yes, there's always something greater to scale, to pursue.

yes. i condemn the meaningless existence of each and every self-centered one of us (yes, that probably includes me). meaningless in the sense that we pursue an idealism of self which is unattainable. but yet, there is always great meaning in life when we sought after what is far more precious and valuable. yes, He watches us. and He hears our cry. fix out eyes upon Him, for our rewards are in heaven, not of this earth. this timely reminder has resolved my conflict, and in the same way, may it encourage all out there who see absolutely no purpose in life and are in a state of depression and confusion.

though the days seem long and life is apparently disappointing and tiring, may we realise that truly, our labour is not in vain, if only we'd remember that there's always someone who cares and comforts, someone who knows our pain, someone who shares our concerns, someone who will strengthen us, and someone who reassures us gently that we WILL make it through - for great is our reward in far greater manifestations than the worldly entities so very sought after.

makeover.

2004-08-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

haha.heyy.i changed my blogskin.FINALLY.

the reason we sing.

2004-08-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

was visiting VJC today for an economics talk by some professor from NUS. definitely a waste of my time, considering that i was unable to even keep awake during the lecture. kept nodding off and finally gave up and decided to take a afternoon nap right there in my seat in LT3 in VJC. argh. late nights have finally taken their toll on me. (thanks to the numerous essays which are to be due next week. hear that...subject teachers?)

well, definitely looking forward to the weekend. Its church anniversary! definitely the best boost of enthusiasm i needed to get through this draggy week. its nice when you've got something to look forward to and definitely even better when it becomes your motivation to just get on with this hectic life. haha.and tt reminds me. i hope i still remember the actions for the item.lol. prob need brushing up. should keep doing it everyday till it somehow gets into my head permanantly.grinns. and yes...i love "Go light your world", even as i realise there're so many ppl out there who need Him and His word just to get past another day. We are weak, but we are made strong in his perfect strength.

just realised the multiple sets of clothes i need to bring to Raffles City this Saturday. well. there's the workersuit, plus the coat, tie, shirt, pants. bleah. just so much to bring along. haha. guess i'd just have to lug it all there. and i so have to go shopping for something. yeahh. bleah. just realized i need to get a nice tie, and prob a new shirt. i'll try to make it to town on friday i guess.

thanks God for Hist Soc. archaeology talk going smoothly yesterday. was glad it went well, and the students generally enjoyed it, probably gaining sufficient insight for this CIP initiative. now to pray for good weather for the fieldtrip("the BIG DIG") on Saturday. =)

trying to get my economics essay done by tonight. sigh. i have no idea how to approach this. profit maximization. =( puhleeasee, tell me i can get an extension for this?

haha.saw ian's scribbling on the LT table:
held up so high, on such a brakable thread...
u were all the things i thought i had,
and i thought we could be...
u were everything, everything that i wanted,
we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it...

outside the window.

2004-08-10T19:43:00.000+08:00

was reading regeneration for the whole day. at least i'm making progress, 8 chapters or so down today. well. at least its been far better than yesterday where i was completely unable to register anything i was reading. with promos looming in the background, critical deadlines to meet for assignments and projects, and teachers assuming that you aren't giving school your best shot, life really sucks. But that's the way life is. Especially with people misuderstanding your intentions, and misinterpreting your goodwill. And of course, there's always a particular group who thinks you're seriously underperforming and bugging you to pick up your pace. Well, but i guess i'll learn to handle criticisms like this well enough, especially since its for my own good yeah?

i'm just thankful for all of you who've been encouraging me through this. though days seem dreary and life becomes nothing more than just a routine, there's a hope that it WILL get better, because He's always there for me, and He's provided me with friends like these. why fret on all that unhappiness when there's the assurance of a divine intervention just when i need one?

and to the sec 4s this year, remember, we J1s survived the prelims and Os and emerged stronger as a batch, in the same way, so will you all, because He ultimately remains faithful, past, present, and future. stop doubting, and start working consistently, knowing that He'll be there for you even in times like these.

well, thats just abt it. i'd love to go out again yeahh. but for now, i've gotta sort out my grades and cca stuff. pretty much sounds like the school takes ownership of my life yea? pretty sad huh?

back to formula.

2004-07-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

its baq to sch.LOL. okay. first day of the new sch term was nice. actually first day of the second week. haha. had a rather enlightening time in History lecture. talkin lots of coq' and bull with mr ngoei and trying best as we could to ease into the sch timetable once again. apparently most of the day was spent in a half-dazed mood, with the back-to-usual munching on snacks in class, and the all-so-missed laughter and chatter that echoed thru the everpresent NL16(our old base class).

oh wells. i love school. but not all of it. i guess no one loves completely.haha.but then again...i could be wrong. crap. gotta finish blogging NOW.
its ten. and i promised myself i'll start work at ten. argh.sigh.
GP 1100 words. bleah. c'mon teach me some USEFUL vocab. for once.
-_-

the clock ticks.

2004-06-22T10:52:00.000+08:00

countdown to exams.well.all the best to you guys!.keep going.rmb trust Him to sustain you in this period of studying.do well and glorify His name! =)

errm.just woke up with a terrible headache.hahaz.feelin kinda dizzy still, was trying to sleep well but apparently that was not to be the case...was woken up twice last night...neighbour's dogs barking next door.(grrr...but.longsuffering...) yea.so i guess i'll slp somemore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joanne and Joshua!! one year older! keep wALking fAithFul. =)

sometimes the world seems so void of emotions.sometimes we don't even know if anyone really cares or they're simply doing it out of obligation or harbouring ill-intent.but one thing we DO know and CAN BE sure of.He's there.always.never-changing.yesterday.today.forever.in Him we trust.and that trust could never be more well placed.

fields of gold,
blend into a kaleidoscope of emotions,
a constant pulse through my veins,
till it fades into the void of the night,
and there it remains,
awaiting, patiently,
the tremors of the new morning.

home. memories so fond.

2004-06-18T18:39:00.000+08:00

yeap.i'm back from bangkok.loved it there.done my shopping, came home feeling terribly pampered from my trip. =)
and yes, yes, i bought stuff for u guys.haha.sorri i couldn't meet everyone's wishlist, but santa made an effort kae? LOL. don't wry, hope u all love what i've gotten for u.

lessons learnt from bangkok:
1) Never take cleanliness for granted (saw cockroaches scurrying arnd on the streets there, plus saw two of 'em running out from beneath a pot of food along the roadside at some roadside eatery)...so yea, there's nowhere like home.
2) Social security is never a given. (given that tourists there are an easy target for conmen and robbers)...once again, there's nowhere safer than home.
3) Standards of living must never be taken for granted (the only reason why everything costs less there is coz of the low standards of living. it goes that average salaries are abt 1000 baht a month? that's abt 40 bucks singapore dols.yupp) (plus taxi fares there go by the distance covered.and the meter goes up by 1 baht(about 4 cents singapore) each time) seriously.i have NO idea how those taxi drivers make a living if the roads there are jammed almost every day!!.

u noe what?
i guess i'm really lucky to be born here. maybe we should count our blessings. beggars on the streets of bangkok were a common sight. the sight of mother carrying child begging on an overhead bridge certainly didn't get the attention of the people walking past. is this the society we live in today? the harsh realities of life entrap some but those who don't experience it pretend it dosen't exist. maybe we should just be thankful that we have a roof over our heads, at least three meals a day, decent clothes, a bed to rest on, loving parents, friends for the good times and the bad times...

yupp.anw.on a less solemn note, i thoroughly enjoyed myself, and yes, bought lotsa stuff. thank Him for a safe trip to and fro Bangkok and for keeping us thruout the trip. =)

punish the punisher

2004-06-12T09:52:00.000+08:00

just woke up.-stretches- went to watch The Punisher at Westmall yeaterday. sigh.one big disappointment it was. not that there was anything wrong with the movie, just that the director obviously either 1)got tired of filming, 2)had a budget cut, 3)lost his mind. the movie was great...at least till the bad guy died and "revenge" was finished.LOL.but after that...argh.some cliche ending which caused the movie to lose the very effect it had set out to accomplish...one of conflict resolution...and omg.it was so bad. refer here to read more about it. i shan't say anymore then.

yawneyy.but yay!.leaving for bangkok tomorrow.won't be back til' next Thursday.so yupp, if you need to contact me, there's always sms...=) and yea, if its really urgent just call me lar.but try not to, coz my phone bill's already sky-high.so yea. and don't wry guyss.i'll get u all prezzies.haha.smileyy.anyways.i've gtg.hmmm.packing my stuff to go out.and i'm definitely looking forward to ypg and choir todayy. =)

no greater love than yours Lord,
never known it before....
singing hallelujah, hallelujah,
to the faithful one, ....
praise forevermore!

staring into emptiness

2004-05-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!!, I'm so bored. its GP now and its SO slack that its actually become boring. hahahaz.which explains my compulsion to suddenly update my blog. oh well....she keeps talking abt animal abuse and all that and I CAN'T STAND IT!!. we've been on the same topic for countless essays and articles and comprehension practices!! LOL. i'm sprawled on the computer table yea, typing this crap, nodding off real fast.
okay ciao. gna slp, =)

all alone.there's not a soul here.

2004-05-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

silent of the night in
contemplative essence.
figures dancing to the beat of
flash sparks in my downed mind.
conflict. strife. fury. wild gestures.
reconciliation in depth in succession.
ponder. progress. calm. consciousness knocks.
finality. the evolution of ideals in
contrast with reality.

maybe its just me.you have no idea how much you mean to me. do you take it for granted? were we ever meant to be? you give me that cold stare. as if i don't exist. maybe i don't. but then again. maybe i do. and you just won't let me know. but maybe i shouldn't be speculating. maybe i should forget it. pretend none of it ever happened. maybe? possibly? perharps? i should? should i? yes? no? confused.

trampled.but not crushed.

2004-05-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

the streaks of rain pour down on my shattered heart,
the silence engulfs my soul.
a sense of hopelessness, helplessness,
the void of my inner self cries in agonising harmony.
what would i give? what would i sacrifice,
to have the answer to my pain.
the defeaning silence resounds in the distance,
the humble ringings of a long lost tale.
oh i dreamt,
a river of enchantment, a journey of the stars,
a stream of life, a flight of joy.
fades into emptiness, echoed
the regrets of my still small voice.
are you there? will you be?
ever more worthy? of this affection.

i know.of course i do.i'm convinced.

2004-05-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

I know, I know who You are,
By the way You make the wind blow,
And the way You stir my heart,
And I have only made it through so far,
'Cause I know, I know who You are.

Some say You are the only truth,
And some say You're a fraud,
Some think we invented You
Some call you God
Some say You were a noble man,
Very kind and good,
Some think You were a prophet just misunderstood
But I'm content to always be,
A witness to your mystery

i wished upon a falling star.but you never knew.You never will.

2004-05-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

i've been waiting for a hero who's brave and strong someone to love me, someone to tell me i belong. but i pretend i'm satisfied, as i stand watching from the sidelines, til you pull me in to the light, and say 'its your turn now, welcome to your life!' and You call me beautiful, say You've loved me all along, and You've always help the keys to unlock my soul.
there's a smile on my face and a brand new light in my eyes, its a new day, and i've never felt so alive, i feel as if i could conquer anything, that's what Your love has done for me and now all i want to be is everything You want me to be.

went to watch shrek 2 today.it was soooo good.yeah guys.GO WATCH SHREK 2!!.seriously it rocks.some kind of a parody of all the different movies(inc. Justin Timberlake) hahahaz! watched it with joyce, jeremy, matt, and sam.b4 ypg. hahahaz. and i want to watch TROY!!.hmph.everyone has gone off to watch... except me...sigh.oh well.

to ian.there's hope.JUST GO TALK yea? stop contemplating.and missing.
or u'll be like me.read the title of this post.sigh.just misunderstood.and nursing my sorry self for letting myself down.it sucks loving without knowing that it was all worth it.love is supposed to be unselfish.and it never asks for anything in return.but sometimes, sometimes, there's that element of.well.confusion? and a complete sense of rejectedness. and it makes you feel that it was never ever going to be. sigh.am i even noticed? i hope i am.

the greatest love of all? God's love.and i'm glad He's always there.He's there yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever.and He'll love me unconditionally.that i'm sure.always confident.

~line me in -_-

2004-05-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

yawn.in proj. work claz now.damn bored.grins.at least i had a great time this morning. went off for InterJCs Bowling Finals at Victor's superbowl(somewhere in Marina).lol.have to write an article for line-in magazine on the event.missed school all the way until...welll...2.30? smiles.and yay.acjc rOx.we're top for 'A' div guys and 2nd for 'A' div girls!

at least for the first two hours, the mood was one of exhilaration ... everyone was enthusiastically cheering the teams on...but after a while i decided to take a break...my voice was going, going, going away.hahahaz!.but ltr started to cheer again.while ian poh and xianghong were tryin to 'feel' out one another next to me.LOL=D. how extremely ... kiddie.yet.erm.affectionate.grins.

i WANT TO BOWL TODAY!! but sam dosen't wna go.he's got some physics test and claims he's broke.haha.so am i.but yea.my week's allowance is kinda draining dry. gotta wait till next week guys!.(okay, mingfei, justina?) COSMIC BOWLING was our original idea!!.but anw.nvm then.

so i'll be gg for NJC Band concert tonight.yay!.ian's idea.was at Kronos(ACJC String Ensemble Concert) last night.Esplanade.it was soooo good!.Sam, u rock, and so does the rest of the string ensemble!(esp. the pianist, she was so good...bet u couldn't play like that sam =P ... Lol.jjk la.)was sitting with anthony last night...and wth.he was nodding off every three minutes i think.he thinks its a great concert too btw.lol.i think he likes the comfy seats. but couldn't actualli condemn him for that.he just had training before the recital.=)

yupp.enuff blogging now.(though i know i blog extremely irregularly nowadays!) pw sucks la.and i'm so sleepy.i need a bed.and pillow.and soft toy huggies.okay.leave the soft toys out of this.hahaha.3.55.a little while more!! endure! *slaps oneself to keep awake*

the glance of the moment. the dream. the desire.

~sorry!!

2004-05-09T18:04:00.000+08:00

hahah.i'm so sorry okay? didn't blog for the past month.
but yea.at least i'm making up for it now. yes. i have a conscience. LOL.

just came back from church. worn out, especially after drama syf tech-run at The Chinese High yesterday. i'm aching all over.and my knee injury is acting up.but i'll learn to trust the Lord to carry me thru everyday, especially since JC life is full of ups and downs, and there is never a moment to catch my breath. tests rolling in....economics essays on tue, SEA Hist on fri ..... =(

watch Van Helsing!.damn cool!.
hahahz.i went with the church j1s that day.at PS.totally rOx. LOL.i wna watch it again.so yea. tell me if u guys gna watch k? i'll tag along!.YAY.
drama syf is coming up.so far so good.we've tried to keep our set up timing below 4 minutes and i dare say we're improving, it brings joy to see everyone working so hard for one common purpose, to get the job done well enough.and although we try hard, there will be times when we fail and our efforts are unappreciated. but yes. we will keep trying. and we know we're putting in out best. =) DON'T GIVE UP GUYS! just a while more to SYF.!

lots to look foward to this week.anthony's birthday is coming!.and i'm gg love it if SYF turns out to be a great success. and yea.shopping with sam, andrea, deb, joel this fri.hahahz.life's too short to keep dwelling on failures,disappointments and distressing stuff, gotta live it to the fullest! =)

okay.i hope my blogging gets more regular from now on. don't worry.i'll TRY NOT TO neglect my blog. i can't help it if i'm too busy though. -smiles- ~ciao!

love.dramatic effect.

2004-04-04T20:35:00.000+08:00

sorry ppl!!! i know i haven't blogged for soooo long!! kkx...hahahz.was in theatre for the whole of last week!! A midsummer night's dream was a fantastic experience!!

monday, tuesday and wednesday were spent setting up stuff and rehearsing....oh wells...a lot of work was put in crew and cast alike...and at times, tempers flared and scoldings were given and taken...but i guess with the amount of work we've put in, no one would be content to see the production go to waste....=) lolx...rigging lights on monday was sooo fun...so much for jumping onto the catwalk.landed on my right ankle twice.was limping arnd for the rest of the day.=P serves me right eh?

did intellilights for theatre....grt experience! to all the seniors: thanks for the opportunity and fare thee well! .... soon i'll have to handle the lights on my own ... but i guess this production has given me a greater sense of confidence. so oh wells. see how things go ya?

the work paid off!.as usual....tech did a grt job...and so did crew...cheers guys!.and cast was getting better and better every night...sat performance was brilliant...loved it! grt job =)! but so sad.wanted to go to the party on sat night....but dad insisted that i had to go hm...shucks...so didn't turn up and left mary and sharm as the only j1s frm crew to turn up...oh wells...regretted it a lot...but nvm.there's nxt time ya? hahahz.!!

yay! i have tomorrow off!! no sch!!
but i'm seriously gna die when i get back to sch...loads of work waiting! think i'm gna be hit by a wave of history tutorials(as usual)...and tt reminds me...i HAVEN'T MET MY NEW CLASS!! argh.i hope i get a pleasant surprise! not like sam who thinks his class sucks.full of wnab-smart-ppl...sigh.poor him.hope i won't have the same fate...but heyy.aRts ppl are supposed to be a great deal of fun ya? so i guess i shld be fine...hahahz...=)

okay.enough said.besides rach's rushing me to finish it! hahaz.or at least she claims she isn't...will miss blogging i think.nxt week's another hectic week...sigh.but i'm sure He'll carry me though.even as i prepare my heart for the upcoming easter concert. =). may He be your inspiration this week!

echo. the footprints remain. walk worthy.

2004-03-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

hahahaz.okay really fulfilling day....went out really early in the morning...like 11 liddat was alreadi in town. was flooded by GEPers...omg...there were sooooo many of them...can u bleaf it!! sam and i were like so...erm...erm...not amused? hahahz.anyways ltr met josh and mingfei and justina and liling and anthony...hahahz.bowled first at cine....(again)....and was qte satisfied with myself....qte consistent scores...average of 123.lolx...i'm improving....like they all say.practice makes perfect!! then later met T. chung han for lunch at pastamania...ahhh...so sad.no student discount like yesterday...

okay la then...so ate...then went for movie wif the rest of the church ppl..."The Gospel of John"...wah realli saw the idea of "oneness" la today...we flooded cine AS A CHURCH...we got into the cinema AS A CHURCH...hahahz.omg.noone can beleaf it la...even pastor went....not bad....we shld do this more often...so kewl rite? rite? rite? hahahahaz.i'm hyper again...=P

lolx.hmm.then left the cinema.went to KFC with sam, mingfei, david, jeremy, edwin, andrea, deb, amelia, matthew, benchong, joel....hahahz.soo wanted to eat.but not enough cash...so ate ice cream...frm macs!! how typical of me...i like it k! so nice.but it gets realli hard to digest aft some time...oh well.i now don't even know what i'm talking abt...better stop...kkx....

then went camp echo at night!!.great time of bonding and recalling the events of camp once again...what fond memories....esp. when photos of camps from 1975 till now were flashed...omg...everyone looked soooo different then!!.and we all had a good laugh...=)....really great dinner la...sooo filled.think i'll get fat soon....hahahz...i always say this...but i don't get fat....i just grow taller everyday...hahahaz....some weird way my body works...mayb its a good thing.won't have to worry so much abt losing weight...kewl right? =)

then came home....hmm...hahahaz...smsing alot of ppl as usual...oh well.and just bid them gd nite.guess i shall go sleep too....tmr's church...btr not be late!!...okay.bye to my blog for now.ciao. =D

back from a fruitful trip!

2004-03-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

heyy...just came back from Malaysia.Bethany Family Camp 2004..Sofitel Hotel/Resort. =) had a great week of expounding the word and learning valuable lessons....about the "Fruit of the Spirit", the theme for the camp...

Sunday:
got down to a great start.followed Sam and family down...in his car...hahaz.crapping all the way in the car.then got real tired.dozed off listening to easter musical soundtracks.then we arrived.opening session was great.real good time of bonding and getting to know new ppl.then i realised my room was 393.argh.all the way to the OTHER END of the hotel.long walk everyday...=(

Monday:
hahaz.woke up earli.called Sam up and we went for a morning swim.refreshed after tt....somehow ur food tastes better when u're hungry after morning exercise. day one of messages established the importance of fruits in our life, and served as an appetizer to the rest of the camp.

Tuesday:
lolx.not as energetic as the first day la....felt qte sleepy already...thanks to the WARHEADS!! yay!! stayed AWAKE!! at least.

Wednesday:
poolside programme was crazy!! omg.so fun...GAD rOx!! we did Am. Idol 4 la...and P.kenneth was willie hung....!!!....u shld haf seen him...looks so damn stupid...with the two gigantic teeth and his attire...wah almost died laughing la!!!....was qte gd as a whole...we cracked up the audience..!!.=) was dead tired but STILL went bowling!! hahahahz.and i got 149 and 148...but didn't exceed 150!!! argh.so sad!!....oh no...think mingfei, Sam and myself are addicted to bowling...!!! shucks...its damn expensive la...terrible addiction!!...

Thursday:
wah.touch rugby la. whatever "fruit" of the spirit we learnt over the last 4 days was gone la....no love, no longsuffering and no patience!! and after the rough games....dunno how many ppl got injured....my toe was sooo pain...had to ice it throughout evening devotions....oh wells....no joy too i guess as a result...sigh. how one sport can change everything.even values.sigh again.but at least in the end we shook hands la...so that was the most peaceful thing we did la...=)

Friday:
hahahz.check out!! sam's dad took us shopping!!! yay! so kewl right! so tired alreadi but still went to city square to shop.bought clothes and FINALLY found a replacement OP wallet...soo good!! since i lost mine, i've been using this lousy leather one which can't hold anything...feel so relieved....!! okok.went home.slept.and wrote this...hahaz.

okay.there u go.my super-summarised version of the fam. camp. but its nice knowing i took away great lessons and grew in faith!!. would like to thank the pastors and the other ppl who have made it possible!! thanks.!! =P

bowl me over!

2004-03-10T21:25:00.000+08:00

hahaz.first things first.

From Ian Poh's blog:
==================================================================
today i looked out the window and i saw this 1AH boy carrying the whole OHP and running very very quickly to his classroom.
i was like MY FUTURE CLASSSMATE! and eveeryone in class turned around and gave me that look.
i really want to be in AH okay. no number behind damn cool.
==================================================================

lolx.he found this on some 1AH student wannabe hahaz...looks like my place in the class is shaky la...ahaha.but i guess i'll just learn to take things as they come...but still....this is sooooo amusing la...becoz...1st-ly, it speaks of the you-noe-who, and secondly, it echos the desire of those ppl who wanna be in AH although they call us muggers and all that....but they're just JEALOUS!!! haha.

oh well...hmm.4got to blog yesterday, but i'll do it now...
lolx.went out aft sch.wif Sarah(church), Xianghong, and her, hmm, two wannabe bfs from her OG ... lolx ...at least they looked like they were realli interested in her...hahaz...the conclusion i reached after some scrutiny...hmm...
watched dirty dancing 2...super nice(see michelle's blog)....wah not bad at all la....MUST WATCH!!
hahaz.came home real late...was so tired...so i just took a bathe and collapsed on the bed immediately...=0...poor Sarah..she's gotta pack for her camp tmr....=)

okay...back to the present.omg.towned again!!.went out with Sam, Mingfei and Josh, decided to go bowling coz its cheaper on weekdays...and besides...we need to hone our skills b4 family camp...hahaz..
actualli ahh...wat we discovered was simple...WE SUCK at bowling after being out of touch wif it for sooo long la...wah my worse pinfall today:71...it was painful la...hahaz.("The truth hurts!")...hmm...can't wait for family camp!!! i want HOLS!! hurry hurry...i wna speed up time...!! just cant wait to get over and done with school and ccas and watsoever there is here....need some "spiritual" refreshment!!

hahaz.i shall stop here.if i think of anything else, i'll add it later.hmm.mum's prob gna tell me to get off the com...so i better take the initiative first...=) see.i'm a good boy..i've proven it.("actions speak louder than words..!")

newness of worship.

2004-03-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

went to church today.hmm.teen's worship started...looks promising...seem to be benefitting out of it better than in the main worship...hahaz.=)

hahaz.stayed in church till abt 5 plus...was super tired...resting on the office couch la...actualli had a nap...frm abt 4 liddat till 5....then suddenly woke up...for no reason watsoever...hmm...then decided to go hm...so left the church with Joyce and Camille...Joyce then was "ushered" out by us la...then suddenly said her parents were fetching...so rushed all the way back to church la...then super funni...Camille opened her bad and discovered her wallet was missing...apparently she left it in the office...so i walked baq wif her to go find it la...hahaz...she's super blur lar...best...but heyy...look who's commenting (i just lost my wallet 2 weeks ago...lolx =X)...

hmm.then aft abt one hour...i got home...hahaz...as usual...tired and hungry...so ate dinner...then watched tele...hmm...got this lame chinese drama on channel i...lolx.its super funni la...but gotta admit the acting is qte gd....abt this innocent empress who was accused wrongly of committing adultery and was sent to be beheaded...then aft tt dunno wat happened la...but her head was floating around...hahaz...at least i think so...she must have been a ghost la...oh ya....even lamer was the part where she found her body and attached her head to the body...then the heavens spoke to her and gave her another chance to live la...oh well...its one of those righteous-triumph-over-evil kind of shows...hahaz...but the actors were qte gd la....so at least it wasn't an absolute waste of time...=P

hahaz.then wanted to go queensway shopping centre la...aft hearing frm Vicki tt there was some Nike 30% sale going on there...but guess i was too lazy to drag myself out of the hse...lolx.so i did wat i always do best....SLACK!!hahaz.yup.lay on the bed listening to mp3s...Josh Groban rox...his voice is so good la...hmm(envious)...and i'm now sick of michelle branch...hahaz...evanescence...just reminded me of you-noe-who's violent tendencies...*scary*....better not make mention of names...he'll prob just blow me up if he sees this...=#...some1 recommend me somemore gd tracks la...sick of the ones i haf...and i cant be bothered to use kAzaa...so just send it to me via msn or somethin liddat la...even better...burn me a cd...hahaz...

okay.hahaz.then went online la.tok to a lot of ppl.one big mess of convo windows...comp. started lagging...was toking for qte some time to Sarah la...ahaha.doing wat i do best...asking her a lot of stuff...trying to be nosey...lolx...but then again...i was just lookin for someone to hold a crappy convo wif...tt's so me nowadays...always not making much sense when toking to ppl...argh...must be the ACJC culture...said my gdnitex to my pals on msn la...then logged off and came here to blog...hahaz...

oh wel.its late.and i've got chapel first thing in the morning...hahaz...its just christian rock music AGAIN.and a whole period for sleeping...(wadever i do, i'll just try to avoid being caught)....hahaz...so its nap time in the morning...=) okay.sleepin now.nitex.blog again nxt time...sorri to end like this...tt's all folks.sorri to keep my fans waiting...luv u ppl..*muacks*...hahaz..crap.again.

fatigue.regeneration.

2004-03-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

read the title.it says it all.i'm definitely dead-tired after today.

NTU Inter-tertiary debates were held this morning..omg my sense of direction is getting worse and worse la...spent a good 15 mins walking around the second level of some NTU block and looking for LT 19...turns out i was on the wrong floor all the while la...felt so dumb...oh well.things like tt remind me how much i'm ageing la...=P

okay.turns out that VJC was crap.it was the ultimatum in crappy debates.

3rd speaker of VJC: (after accepting a POI) i agree with you. (glances down at the table) err...err...err...err...err...err...(repeat infinitely)

okay.mayb i'm exaggerating.....but it was REALLY bad!! oh and it was such a sad thing la.they were pitted against the ACJC team comprising of the National Team debators...our dear Howard and Marcus...hahaz...think they must have felt like peeing in their pants la...

lets see.aft tt went down to town to meet matthew and jeremy....thanks to jeremy la...who was addicted to his arcade game...we had lunch late and got to church late...so paiseh...walked in late into the sanctuary...oh well...it isn't the first time la...last time oso...shucks...btr not let it happen again...

choir was erm...kewl...learnt actions for "He Arose"...hope we'll be able to perfect it and put up a performance which will glorify Him and give Him all due honour this easter...!! but on the whole, glad that the choir was enthusiastic about learning the actions...oneness manifested in enthusiasm brings about exceedingly great benefits...=)

ookkaayy.then i headed home.hmm.felt like crap on the MRT, slept standing up la...then i was almost thrown off balance when the train screeched to a halt...so embarassing la...everyone was staring at me...wanted to hide my face...;(

alrite.i'm sleepin.YAY! teen's worship begins tmr...may the Lord bless it and use it for the furthurance of His work in bringing the messages to us youths in a more understandable way...in a way that we can relate to so much more...=p...nitex!

~anticipation, expectation

2004-03-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

one long day.hmm.dunno where to start.

oh well.lets see.hahaz.marissa was crashing ac today.she was slacking at the benches on the ground floor of Oldham wing...lolx.think she was just afraid of being found out la...didn't realli see her crash any lectures...then Ian Poh and myself got the blue slips from Miss Yim, (thanks to Line-In), permitting us to leave lessons after 12.30pm...so happy la...the ed-board meeting was at 11.50pm, so in any case, both of us were able to miss our European Hist test, or so we thought.
But it seemed fated that we should have to take it later after school...hmm...or we would have got zero for the test...so grudgingly took the test(quite unprepared), in the STIR after sch.

hmm, was an interviewer for the release of the A-level results: task: to interview some top SG student called Nicholas Chen...

me: So was this result what u expected?
Nick: No la...i didn't even study la, wth i only started 3 weeks b4 prelims...

and so it was that he was one big lucky slacker.or maybe he was just faking it...hahaz.in any case, it was qte a lame interview, he wasn't realli interested in doing it...(of course la, who in the right mind enjoys being tailed by the school paparazzi??)...

oh well.so oh ya.and it turned out that i was super tired after the history test, it ended at abt 5pm..and i met Adeline, Jinx and Joel...made our way down to ACSBr to check out the tech stuff at the ACSBr concert hall...hmm...turns out they have qte an impressive sound system...dunno abt the lights though...hope the light board isn't as screwed up as the one in the other smaller theatre used for Rashomon earlier this year...hahaz...all the best dealing with it Adeline...=P

hmm.then from there...walked to newton mrt...i RUSHED down to Yusof Ishak Sec Sch, which somehow seemed to be on the other side of the planet...oh wells.was almost late, but hey, luckily the debate had not started yet.RV vs. PLMGS...clash of the titans as i had expected it to be....turned into one complete comedy...hahaz....PLMGS was CRAP la.contradicted themselves throughout and didn't even deal with the points we brought up...and their 1st speaker last year for some freak reason decided to do the 3rd speaker role, though i must admit she couldn't argue for nuts....was just asserting points all over the place...it was quite a mess, and i did pity the poor adjudicators....
Needless to say...we WON!! YAY!! now we have a real chance of moving into the quarter-finals...keep going guys...i'll hopefulli be able to prep u all for the next debate...trying to squeeze out some time off my crazily packed schedule...

hmm.finally got home.feel like crap.damn sleepy but still was unable to resist the temptation to blog...hahaz.so here i am. okay.time to sleep.gotta head down to NTU tomorrow for MORE debates...lolx.oh wells.go ACJC!!

can't sleep la. =X

2004-03-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

oh well.the title says it all.i'm having difficulty sleeping AGAIN!!argh.thanks to the stupid phone.rang so loud and then when i picked it up, the line went DEAD!!

haha.okay i decided to write aft some time takin a break off blogging.michelle juz reminded me tt the blog was getting outdated and that kinda spurred me to write again.so here i am. aniwae yups, had a realli tiring day, was made to go all the way down to turf city to support the ACJC X-country team.lolx.it was qte slack la, but in the end took part in some of the cheering...so it wasn't a complete waste of time i guess.

Jeanne, Ian P., Michelle, Melissa, and myself, were trying to get rid of he-who-must-not-be-named so that we could haf a private convo at some quiet playground at turf city...hahaz...we were qte successful la....but come to think of it, it was qte mean.but heyy.told u guys alreadi...i'm freaked out by his mere presence. so i guess i'll keep my distance frm him.

okok, was so dissatisfied with the turf city expedition la, so AGAIN had this burning desire to just go have some fun in town or somewhere else...but oh well, everyone was so tired la, and most of them wanted to just go straight hm to crash. in the end, went to Jurong Interchange to meet the rv debators, who were frantically trying to put together a case for their JG's competition on Fri, against arch-rivals PLMGS....=P...don't worry guys...we'll trash them...into the nearest bin, (actually, from what i gathered last year, they don't even deserve the luxury of a bin)...hahaz, ignore me la.i'm crapping again....

hmm.tmr gog for movie wif jermaine, justina, mingfei, and erm, more ppl?? hahaz.dun even noe who can make it...as usual it'll be a last min thingy....hahaz.think we're watchin Big Fish!!lolx.i don't mind watchin again la, its super touching, tugs at my heartstrings....esp. the moral behind the story...hahaz.okok.tt's as much as i'll tell ya abt the movie....if u're readin' this...just go watch it k? its worth catching. not the fish, the movie! (i'm crapping AGAIN!) =)

alrite.guess i'll go sleep soon.gna try counting sheep again.though i alreadi tried...mayb this time i'll count something else...-yawns- okay gd nitex!!

escapism?

2004-02-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

i'm like real worried now.but i realli gotta thank u guys out there for the encouraging messages.i'm learning to leave it in His hands and accept whatever may befall.

trying my bez not the think of it.but the whole day was fraught with constant reminders that Os results are out tmr...thanks to some ppl who keep harping on it...
oh well, had qte a slack day.most teachers just gave up teachin' coz nobody was realli paying attention.went out with Vicki for dinner, oh well, she's worried too.had a great time aft tt when i reached home, just decided to stone in front of the tele....it helps to keep those depressing thoughts from setting in...

hmm.i better get to bed now.gna be one nail-biting day ahead.

AC-fied?

2004-02-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

lol.grt day.sch ended at 10am coz the sch decided to give us a day off for rest.haha.for me wasn't exactly a day of rest.went straight to studio and LT4 where Night of Laughter rehearsal for the actual production on wednesday took place. stayed there till abt 3.luckily it ended early.was expecting somethin' like 6 or 7pm.haha.tech crew is a slack job.i'm just supposed to keep the feedback out and get sound effects.and prob amuse myself with how the actors are performing.lol.luckily i've got adeline to accompany me...or it could be potentially boring =).

ltr went out to bugis.met peiyin and her hwa chong friends.hahaz.qte an experience la.suddenly chinese was sprouted again, and believe me, it was weird to hear conversations in chinese aft not having heard it in two months.and her two chinese high frenz hardly said anythin la.so awkward sitting there in absolute silence.oh wells.luckily she brought along this mgs gal.who din realli fit into hcj la, coz she was the "english" type.in the end, had to tok to her more than the others....ok.now i noe i made the right choice NOT to go HCJC.whew.=P